The vampire effect of negative emotions occurs when we give away our personal power repeatedly to what does not serve us and let those emotions feed on our spirit.
So many emotions run through us every day, and far too often these are negative, directed toward ourselves or to others and external events. It can be difficult to extricate from this pattern. The thoughts repeat.
We yield to emotions–they are the core of what makes us human. You can’t shut them out—we are meant to acknowledge whatever feelings show up for us in life. But we aren’t meant to keep acknowledging again and again anything that brings pain and suffering or remorse and grief and self-doubt. There is another way, always available to us.
Emotions Last 90 Seconds
The physiological truth, verified by science, is that emotions reach every cell and have a duration of 90 seconds. That’s it. Whatever you feel, it lasts in the body for no more than 90 seconds. The ONLY way any emotion lasts longer is because we remember it and play it over and over again in our minds. It is a human tendency to replay whatever bothers us, saddens us, or confuses us, like our minds are on our very own CNN channel.
The thing is, by doing this we also replay all the physiological effects, as well, and our health is often diminished and compromised.
Yet there is nothing preventing us from letting go of negative emotions after 90 seconds. It’s a choice, letting that happen. We don’t have to hold on to that negativity, unless we decide to.
So here’s the other way–we can shut off the replay.
Easier said than done? Is it really easier for you to live in the stasis of old emotions, those old energies that once helped you, but no longer serve your best self, especially if they keep you from moving forward and living with passion and good will?
How You Serve Yourself and the World
For a start, you can make it a habit just to be aware of what you’re feeling. Running those replays actually stops you from living your life purpose. Even if you don’t know your destiny, haven’t thought of it at all, it exists, it’s out there, and in you. We are each one of us meant to make a difference and serve the world in some way. It could be by growing a communal garden, by giving a speech at the Lincoln Memorial, by saving a child from hunger, by being a wonderful parent to our own children, by inventing something that helps people in positive ways, by writing a book, by sewing a quilt. If you love doing it, it is part of your life purpose.
Every time you let go of negative emotion, you serve that purpose in joy.
So just be aware that there is always a choice. And you are entitled to make it.
Every 90 seconds.
Hit the nail on the head. very well put. I might expand that false, unrealistic expectations also factor in here. A very catholic childhood left me convinced that through prayer and sheer will power i could fix things. After all, the Nuns who taught me believed it , so it had to be true. I tried to fix my family and was still trying when I received a recent rant. Sanity finally broke through; no I can not rescue, fix or save any adult person but myself. I can encourage, sometimes help but that is all . Only with children can we foster the development of an early positive self image. the catholic way of focusing on sin and transgression creates a guilt laden character who will forever need absolution.
It even worked on Kings.
Great writing.
Beautifully explained. I had no idea about the 90 secs thing. Thanks for sharing the insight.