You do not need to give away your personal power, that inner awareness and trust in who you are and in your unique worth and worthiness. But many of us do. We believe for some reason that letting someone else define us, or insist on how we must be and act and think, will bring us favor and approval. No. It never does. What it brings is an abrogation of our true being, of our best self, and of our commitment to life–not just to our own, but to all life. Everything is connected. What we do and think sends out a vibration that affects not only those around us, but the whole planet.
In the previous post I wrote about the need to be authentic in dealing with others. Holding on to your personal power is the foundation that allows you the freedom to live in that authentic state. It is not easy to do in a world that expects us to be and act in conformity with the status quo.
For women in particular this loss of personal power is more common than not. Most women are brought up to please, and no matter how far they may advance in life, that training tears at them, making the need for approval essential. Women who go beyond this barrier are women who embrace their right and freedom to exist as they are–people like Dr. Jane Goodall, Maya Angelou, Louise Hay, Eleanor Roosevelt, Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Leymah Gbowee, Rachel Carson, Malala Yousafzai, Angela Merkel, Oprah Winfrey, Helen Clark, and more. The opinions of others do not stop them, and neither does self-doubt and fear, even when they have both. They choose to honor their path.
It is something we are all entitled to have–that inner sense of who we are, to act and feel and speak as we are–no matter what. It is more than having confidence or bravery–it is having a deep, unmistakable awareness our value is derived not from what others do or think or say, but from our own innate right to exist and thrive, to create a life that matters to us.
Personal power encompasses personal responsibility. It defines how we behave in each instance of our life by the choices we make. If we assume that responsibility, then we refuse to blame anyone else for outcomes. If we act in our most authentic way, truest to what we understand best, we cannot fault ourselves. It is when we cavil, deceive, pretend, manipulate, hide, and allow ourselves to be dishonest in any way that we relinquish that responsibility, and with it our essential purpose and life force.
Again, this whole idea is especially difficult for many women who resist and resent having to assume control over their own lives. Women are still conditioned to expect that a man on a white horse will show up–that provider, that other person who will take care of them. It is an old energy, though, one that stops progress in the inner and outer worlds. It is a barrier to freedom.
And personal power is all about freedom.
Had to look up the word Cavil. Thoughtful well written piece. Some women are looking for the man on the white horse.
In traditional families it is motherhood and the realm of domestic life that both empowers while at the same time foster economic dependency. The responsibility as the mistress of the house has always been a complicated role. Abigail Adams come to mind. Woman who broke free or did not assume this mantle were usually either wealthy enough to engage help, not proficient breeders, spinster or members of religious orders.. It is only recently that birth control has made children a choice and that is still in conflict with many organized religions. Economically, women have been legally kept at a financial disadvange. We live in the first time when freedom is a a viable choice for manna women. Personal power is about freedom. But responsibility enters into the picture as well. Example Queen Elizabeth.
Indeed it does, Paula, and that is actually the subject of my next post–how we assume responsibility for what we do and say, and what it means when we do not. Thanks for your reply!
Indeed an inspiring article.You are the writer of your destiny.Being able to remain detached from other’s opinions,external conditions such as economical or policitical changes can only arise from the state of becoming truly authentic and developing a sense of comfort in who you are.Astonishing transformations begin to happen in our life the moment we decide to be ourselves instead of imposing the belief of what other people think about us.
So right! It is the only way we can live in freedom, truly, at all levels of our being. Thank you for such reminders.